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10-3 JD Sleazy and PDiddy Greasy Episode (FB4tB #177) Transcript

Check out the full episode of Facebook for the Blind on YouTube–a memecast for the visually and Facebook impaired (basically comedians telling show and tell with memes).

0:00 [Music] welcome to Facebook for the blind your look at the downfall of Western

0:05 Civilization through the best memes we can find each week ladies and gentlemen both and

0:11 neither thank you for joining us for that time of the week we like to celebrate Facebook for the blind to show for the visually and Facebook impaired I

0:18 am your honestly never humble host Eric Seymore joined by my beautiful co-host

0:24 from South Canada quiet Michael hi hi Eric

0:30 then you say like And subscribe then you say like And subscribe for the algorithm for

0:37 subscribe to the algorithm also joined by my beautiful co-host by from nearby

0:42 Thomas burrow Andrew TD hi everybody the algorithm would love

0:48 it if you liked and subscribed also danging T yeah and

0:55 dialing in from the Left Coast it’s our friend Brain Damage I like to be

1:00 different so subscribe and

1:05 like West Coast mixing it up mixing it up ladies and gentem those beautiful

1:12 co-hosts of mine are going to have some very very funny funny memes uh as you know but first uh we have a uh special

1:18 trademark copyrighted essential uh part of every single episode of Facebook for

1:24 the blind that’s right you know it you love it I’m talking about picture of Steve shabber yeah

1:33 we’re number one we’re number one in pictures of Steve sherg yes seriously

1:38 yeah you look around at your other podcast shows you’re like do they have pictures of no no not even close I mean

1:44 they have maybe some but not like us [Music]

1:50 no talking about that depressing news

1:58 [Music] that’s right Facebook for the blind

2:06 also it spiritual spiritual inspiration for the show Steve shamberg in a sweater

2:14 in a sweater that he also has tattooed on his arm uh Facebook for the blind lot of fun news this week you know what a

2:21 Haitian group in Springfield Ohio has filed citizen criminal charges against Trump and Vance and a lot of people a

2:28 lot of people are like well that’s rid does that won’t accomplish anything yes but you know what maybe it’ll teach mer Garland and Department of Justice how

2:35 fast you can move meanwhile uh JD uh JD had a little

2:41 debate with Uncle Tim uh Minnesota’s best we were rooting for him um and uh

2:47 and that went uh that went interestingly I liked how uh Vance was asked repeatedly about uh January 6 and he

2:55 said I prefer to focus on the future

3:01 as many people you weren’t going to fact check as many yeah he asked if they were

3:06 I thought we weren’t going to fact check [ __ ] anyway the the thing that I really liked was it’s just like if anybody ever deflects that obviously in

3:14 your face you know it’s just like you know did you cheat on me hey I prefer to focus on the future yeah right

3:23 oh but it I actually really liked Wall’s response to that that is a damning not

3:28 an non answer oh really good he had a couple of them strung together man he had a couple of them strung together uh

3:35 the you know I love some walls you know the lyrics were there uh but the vibe didn’t slap I’m I’m sorry some of it

3:42 just didn’t I couldn’t dance no he’s not good it’s not his it’s not where he’s strongest right like debating and and

3:48 Vance is like a natural-born troll so loves being there on the debate stage

3:55 yeah y anyway truly creepy truly Insidious I was uh more frightened

4:01 afterwards than before hey and some good news uh you know BB came to the UN had a big un meeting last week and as uh BB

4:08 got up to be introduced uh dozens and dozens of people just walked out it’s a thing of beauty it’s a thing of beauty

4:14 got to see a lot of backsides uh wanted to give you guys an update I don’t know if you saw this but local community

4:20 college student is in custody after the FBI investigated his social media threat

4:27 now I went in here and I read all about this thing and apparently uh he was uh

4:33 where is the thing here he was charged with uh you know he he he made posts on

4:41 social media basically so what I want to say was oh yeah here we go it was unlawful use of a weapon for a

4:47 threatening Facebook post so ladies and gentlemen Facebook is a weapon that can

4:52 get you investigated by the FBI did you know that I’m [ __ ] hell yeah we’re at

4:58 the Forefront of the mimic Wars boys want to give you some good news cuz

5:03 TD’s always like why you got to give us all this bad news and I’m like okay hey did you hear that the pipeline of deadly

5:09 fentanyl into the United States may be drying up how about that how freaking

5:14 cool is that deaths are down overdoses are down all around the country and it’s great the experts are like yeah they’re

5:20 drying up for some reason drugs are hard trying to give it to their kids for

5:26 Halloween right yeah that’s it that’s it it’s all been bought by the Halloween freaks they’re going to give it out to

5:31 your kids Tri or treat stuff uh anyway it’s really crazy they’re saying that there’s less of it around uh the there’s

5:38 a short supply on the street the stuff that is out there has been stepped on a ton and often it has been mixed with an

5:46 industrial chemical known as btms and according to the people that

5:51 know man you just can’t get high on btms so no nobody’s sure why anyone

5:58 would do that it doesn’t cause overdoses or immediate deaths so you know there’s that so it’s

6:05 kind of like I don’t know Crystal Pepsi Crystal Crystal yeah anyway so uh

6:13 us overdose deaths have decreased in 2023 first time since 2018 and they’ve continued their descent in 2024

6:21 so we put the meth in Crystal Pepsi [ __ ]

6:26 yeah brought to you by Crystal Pepsi in a new yorker’s wet dream they finally

6:33 have a mayor who’s been indicted on federal charges how cool is that you know it feels a little like New York’s

6:40 trying to be like Chicago though you think hair hair it’s a little like jacking our Swagger I feel I gotta yeah

6:47 I see it I’m with it do we still have the sign when you come into Illinois of how many days it’s been since we’ve had

6:53 a governor in jail the governor to prisoner pipeline is so real in Illinois

6:59 yeah ladies and gentlemen talk it’s real ladies and gentlemen politicians don’t

7:06 go to jail I’m like I’m from Illinois politicians can go to jail all the time

7:11 time for a little PSA ladies and gentlemen talk to your children about running for office in

7:18 Illinois before it’s too late moving on uh yeah seriously uh go

7:24 to The Daily Beast there’s an incomplete list of Eric Adams strangest mayoral moments and brother wow what a weirdo uh

7:32 I absolutely love this lawyer says that Diddy’s uh No Sex Fiend he was just a

7:38 bulk buyer he goes there’s a Costco right down the street that’s why he had them

7:44 17 pallets of Baby Bo he got him at Costco he’s just really into discount

7:49 absolutely not dude Costco immediately put out a tweet and said we do not sell

7:54 pallets of baby oil at any of our locations I think it’s kind of weird to

8:00 to to say bulk buyer as a euphemism for human trafficking oh yeah well that’s

8:06 true you know you know though I I mean the kids these days with the languages

8:11 and stuff I mean what are you gonna do these kid lawyers they’re so cute hey you remember

8:18 the the guy you remember the guy who called himself a black Nazi uh who’s running for I don’t know something I

8:23 don’t remember anyway half his staff half his Capital staff have quit on mass yeah yes your name to that guy out

8:35 consequences yeah halfway through here uh this is hilarious uh bobert went on

8:41 to Colorado NPR and uh and she was like oh oh you’re going to fact check me during the interview and she’s like

8:49 yeah like these people do not ever want to be fact check they really don’t like

8:55 fact checks which is unbelievable to me because those two words could mean anything they could meet almost anything

9:02 anyway very weird as you guys know the Dock Workers strike is undergoing right now the east coast is shut down uh

9:09 they’re looking for a 62% pay raise because all the fat cats R the shipping companies made of money uh over covid

9:17 and these guys were out there exposed to the virus doing their job and they didn’t get squat so and in a strange

9:25 turn of Affairs the administration appears to be on the side of the strikers who are potentially going to

9:32 cause a little Ripple in the supply chains and recessions right before an election so you know there’s some guys

9:38 in the White House who are going dude dude dude dude dude we can do an executive order we can pause this we can pause this and I don’t know I guess

9:44 Biden’s holding strong going nope I’m Pro union guy I don’t know I’m I’m I’m loving it it’s pretty wild so fun stuff

9:53 um do you guys happen to catch Lavar Burton sending up his book Banning segment and uh radio uh sorry reading

9:59 radio no absolutely absolutely perfect man he did book B book uh band Book uh Reading

10:08 Rainbow absolutely fabulous segment on Jimmy Kimmel and I highly recommend that you go out and find it uh but all about

10:14 the book Bannings and then later on uh he takes the kids to uh attend a school board meeting and watches these people

10:21 and he’s like look Charlotte Webb got banned because it’s got talking animals and the Bible people were like can’t have that so um

10:29 talking snake is all that you need and a joke about a talking donkey and that’s it I don’t like seeing his face without

10:36 his viser on I know it is kind of disturbing yeah that’s Jordy leforge

10:43 quit calling him by his government name it does no no no no Reading Rainbow was

10:49 way first my not in my

10:55 heart but I I mean I kind of know what you mean because it feels like Jordy was lying to us about being blind all that

11:02 time pretending for a paycheck I hear you I mean not that we wouldn’t all do it so there you go oh word hey I don’t

11:09 know if you guys heard this one either but uh the far right uh party the Freedom Party which is much like

11:16 American parties as is just a brand name and doesn’t mean anything at all uh they

11:22 uh they they they they got the majority but it’s a parliament over there you got to get together with other uh groups and

11:28 form a coalition and they can’t form a coalition because you see the Freedom Party was started by Nazis did you know

11:34 that yeah Austrian Nazi party just one

11:40 they are now more popular than ever it is a frighteningly uh familiar uh

11:46 campaign full of dog whistles talking about climate talking about communism

11:52 talking about foreigners talking about all them immigrants coming in it’s the

11:57 exact same lines that you are hearing from a lot of other right- Wingers around there anyway the Nazis are back

12:04 and I just wanted to say didn’t didn’t it feel like didn’t we just spray for

12:09 Nazis they’re like ticks man you got to spray every year three times get more immune to that spray man anyway

12:17 absolutely mind-blowing absolutely mindblowing well hey in some more good news Newsmax and smartmatic settled the

12:23 2020 election defamation case on the eve of the trial and what I really hate about this crap is they always seal the

12:29 documents on those settlements but brothers and sisters uh Fox News lost a

12:34 billion dollars so I don’t know what Newsmax has but um I think most of

12:41 it is gonna go to smart madic to settle this suit and I’m dying to hear the I’m

12:47 dying to hear this but it’s just it’s awesome to see that lying at a massive scale has penalties that’s just amazing

12:53 takes too long took six years but hey cool deal we always like to close out with a nice heart forming animal story

13:00 so wanted to show you this uh these are are Shepherd dogs Farm dogs and they are

13:06 leading this uh herd of cattle says Farm dogs leading their cattle out of the flood towards safety seriously one of

13:13 the best photos ever just a huge train of cows with these three these four little good boys look at these good boys

13:20 and girls let me tell you something dude it’s it cost like five grand to get a

13:25 cattle dog drained I’m not kidding that [ __ ] is cheap they are workers man

13:31 that’s that’s an incredible picture yeah very cool stuff oh I meant to throw in with the strike that’s happening on the

13:37 East Coast U ofi uh building and Food Service workers continued their strike so they’re still holding out and if

13:43 there’s one thing students of UI need is food and service so and the the UI students for

13:50 environmental concerns marched to urge the university to devest from the fossil fuel industry which God bless him

13:56 thought that was absolutely great so super cool and uh finally of course I mean we really should close out on the

14:03 animal story of all animal stories which is mooding the baby Bing me hippo but

14:08 unfortunately he’s no longer a source of Joy thanks Humanity what do you mean

14:14 because uh yeah pretty pretty crazy [ __ ] there’s uh uh a lot of you know it was all cute and wonderful and then you know

14:21 now they got mudang and he’s flying around with dragon wing holy crap

14:33 anyway we we we can’t have nice things uh the absolute High Point did you guys

14:38 happen to catch SNL’s mudang clip no I did see the clip absolutely wonderful

14:43 and all I gotta say is it’s fantastic that is the end of the

14:50 news from Facebook for the blind for October 3rd 20124 handed it over to my beautiful co-host Michael laoon for a

14:56 nice uh I don’t know what do we agree on like average sized uh round one no Eric

15:02 here comes a big long round one kicking it off round one the wholesome round we

15:10 got there we go I don’t think this was the meme I

15:18 wanted stop stealing my bits kicking off this round with Cracker Barrel hey

15:25 cracker so just a restaurant it’s a bumper sticker and it’s a got the

15:30 Cracker Barrel logo and a guy leaning on a on a barrel and it says my wife left me after I sat on my gun weird and blew

15:36 my entire dick and balls offs off at Cracker Barrel

15:44 yeah I don’t know how that’s a good advertisement for them but whatever I’m not their marketing guy Sunday Divine PR

15:50 of the show Sunday Divine at Sunday spelled like the ice cream Divine says

15:56 uh this election will be like having friends over for dinner and some of your friends vote for pizza and some vote to

16:01 kill cook and eat you even if Pizza wins the vote you’ve

16:06 still got a problem Bo Jan tungas say has this

16:13 picture of Christian Bale I think it’s from American Psycho and uh looks like he’s about that age and it says ever

16:20 since I was a kid I knew I wanted to write emails and work cross functionally across

16:26 teams Bo bojan says maximizing shareholder value is my

16:33 [Laughter] passion white cat

16:39 prophecy has his picture of JD Vance it but first it says the L Church the LDS

16:45 church anytime its members look up anything about it on the internet and it’s j saying the rules were you guys

16:51 weren’t going to fact check Aram not a goat says uh has a

16:59 picture of this headline from pop crave it’s they’re retweeting pop crave who has Tim Walls and jie Vance next to each

17:06 other saying Tim Walls and jie Vance will have their vice presidential debate tomorrow Aram says fun Uncle versus

17:11 cousin that isn’t in the group [Laughter]

17:17 chat I ha two more here uh

17:23 swayed at Dr sway as this picture of uh Powerpuff

17:29 girl and she’s sitting on a couch and she’s like happy crying and uh sway says

17:35 I’m a knucklehead at times might actually be the best and most sincere thing I’ve heard from a politician in a

17:41 while oh that’s true yeah it was kind of nice to hear something like that and finally uh my last meme for round one

17:50 the wholesome round comes a meme that was sent to me no less than five times

17:55 this week I just picked this one from ship post Gateway at [ __ ] postgate and on the

18:02 left it’s two pictures on the left we have a picture of a toilet but it’s shaped like a skull and on the right we

18:09 have a picture of a Ural that’s shaped like a skull and on the left it says spooky dookie or creepy

18:16 [Music] peeee overall friends and listeners of the show I do enjoy that Meme I don’t

18:23 know why so many of you thought of me when we saw it but that’s it for round one kicking it over brain damage to be

18:30 fair Michael I think of you when I see any urinal thank you Eric thank you you

18:35 know okay I do I do think of you as a spooky do dooky kind of cat Michael I

18:41 don’t know I don’t know all right starting it all for me here we have wuang Savvy forever posted

18:50 a two panel with um Leo DiCaprio and D Jango with a meme where he’s holding his

18:55 glass with his smirk laughing he a 16-year-old listen to wuang and on the second panel we have

19:02 the exact same thing but very much more fat and Bloated it says 45 me year old

19:08 me listening to Wu Tang as T likes to say I feel called out

19:14 by the memes it hurts don’t it it does it does

19:21 all right here we got Christopher bizel I guess that’s how I say your name we’ve

19:27 got a cartoon of ACH bunch of eggs sitting around a room there’s an egg with a pearly necklace looks like it

19:33 could be the mom an egg with a a suit and mustache could be the dad and then an egg with a pastor’s uniform much like

19:40 quiet Michaels I think probably not holding a Holy Bible and they are there

19:45 performing an exorcism on a deviled egg in the bed

19:51 yeah and note the cross with the little egg on it is upside down that’s hanging

19:56 off on the wall yeah I I I was going to note that but if you look at this little marking here at least they kind of make

20:02 it seem like the nail fell off and it and it and it flew down and and it’s on

20:07 backwards but uh know maybe they’re actually the de the deved egg is

20:13 actually getting them to turn on Jesus I don’t know Underground on top posted early

20:20 2000s when Eminem Dr Dre 50 Cent D12 gunit OB Trion exhibit would jump on

20:26 each other’s tracks just to just J Ru Benzino Germaine depri

20:32 etet is uh greater than symbol uh Drake

20:37 versus Kendrick and uh this is is actually true this is actually very true

20:42 for old school hip-hop heads like me um those Ben Xeno dis days were some of the

20:47 best of uh that I know you guys are not I don’t know how how into Detroit rap

20:54 you guys are but uh I would I’m Vaguely Familiar with it honestly enough yeah those those mixtapes were very fun

21:01 time for me so I like that one a lot and I I I don’t enjoy Kendrick or Drake’s music very much Kendrick seems to have

21:09 lyrics but his his voice just the the the the the sound of his voice just the

21:15 vibration in my ears just causes me to like think that there’s a [ __ ] bumblebee in my brain and want to bash my head against the wall anyways we’ve

21:22 got how to dad with a picture of Taylor Swift that says Taylor Swift has written

21:27 100 songs about guys dumping her and none about making her man a sandwich and fetching him a beer coincidence I think

21:39 not she made a billion sounds to me like she made the right choice

21:45 yeah fair enough right speedbump decom has a a cartoon of couple of nights

21:52 standing outside a cave where Dragon is looking on and a bunch of night helmets sitting outside while the princess is

21:58 walking away one night said to the other I’m not saying she’s using us but she just put a

22:05 heartworm pil in my pocket KY can you remind me how you get your dogs to eat their medicines when they need to take

22:12 medicines that put it in peanut butter here we’ve

22:18 got a sign from our favorite Hillside signs or Indian Hill signs or whatever the [ __ ] these guys are called that I’m

22:23 always posting it says procrastination is a dish best served

22:31 eventually [Music] ah this is the Odie but goody I’m sure

22:36 it’s been on here before but uh here we have a a picture that says this looks

22:42 like a dope concert Until you realize it’s a cotton Harvester oh yeah

22:49 yeah yes it is that is that’s a great picture though it is I’m like who what

22:56 camera is this that [ __ ] camera has some Det to it feel the music I can see the pck

23:02 going like I see it yeah and the colors all right I think this one might

23:08 be the last one for me for this round this one’s from funny and clean humor and it just simply says I never tried

23:15 yoga but I had tried bending over to pick up my car keys so I’m pretty sure I

23:21 hate yoga yes passing it off to you

23:26 Titi like that that one that one like stung only because it’s [ __ ] accurate

23:32 but yeah that didn’t hurt me at all um okay hi everybody um we’re gonna do that

23:39 thing I do every week um called the often imitated never duplicated Short Round One One brought to you by the

23:46 dumbest [ __ ] I could find on the internet Yeah Boy the internet never disappoints hell

23:53 yeah okay waitting here we go kicking off

23:58 here uh friend of the show Glen Titi I’ve never met him we’re probably related um he he says at the young age

24:07 of five a bear told me that I’m the only person who can prevent forest fires why

24:13 I was chosen I will never know right Glen comments and to this day

24:20 there’s never been a forest fire in my immediate vicinity so uh possible cousin Glenn keep up the good work all right

24:26 moving on we talk all time we’ve never met uh potm

24:32 smoking atheist who love dogs FR of the show uh it says Captain Crunch on a

24:39 cereal box watching me take bong rips in my kitchen at 7 am in my underwear or as

24:45 I call that Saturday morning uh but it’s uh walking Phoenix dressed like Napoleon

24:50 or some [ __ ] look at like Captain Crunch just looking very smugly disappointed

24:56 very disappointed I feel this because like I said that’s Saturday morning around here moving on

25:02 like he’s like that’s not part of a balanced breakfast [ __ ] uh front of the show

25:09 um haven’t haven’t seen him in a while front of the show Satan hey

25:15 satan um it’s it’s got a picture uh it’s really kind of cool picture of this guy

25:22 pretending to be holding the a full moon because of how large it appears and how he’s got his arms and it looks like he’s

25:28 slowly loading it in the back of his hatchback and uh it says if the British

25:34 landed on the moon first and the hatchback is labeled British Museum and the guy stuffing it in the back of the

25:39 hatchback because you know British museum steal all kinds of [ __ ] allegedly they would have taken the

25:46 pyramids if they had been so heavy I know like the logistics were just a [ __ ] moving

25:53 on hey uh Michael I want you to do this one

26:02 Michael oh no he snuck off to get a Scooby Snack I’m right here glow [ __ ]

26:07 yourself friend of the show glow [ __ ] yourself [ __ ] yourself I was just muted for our listeners uh I was muted for our

26:15 listeners say if you know you know and then oh my

26:22 God this is why I did it because I knew you’d be the one on the left

26:29 we have Robin uh Jason what’s Jason’s last name t Jason Todd Todd Todd I you I’m so

26:37 upset that I forgot his name on the left we have like cira 1983 Jason Todd Ro as Robin in the

26:47 comics uh really just like this era of comics always pulls at my heartstrings

26:52 oh yeah Jason Todd is labeled my bank account on payday and the second frame is a picture

26:59 of a crowbar and it’s labeled bills explain the signic who don’t

27:07 know death in the family was the story arc of Batman where Jason Todd gets

27:14 beaten to death oh my God by a crowbar Joker beats him to death this was uh

27:23 I’ll have you know the first comic book I ever read

27:28 oh my God was in the family and that [ __ ] [ __ ] wrecked me man and a lot of

27:36 people don’t realize when they started writing the comic they didn’t know who they were going to kill at the end they

27:41 let a poll that they conducted and the back is back of the issues of other Comics determine who is going to die in

27:48 death of the family dude I remember that poll I voted for Bat Mite okay here’s here’s the thing here’s

27:55 the thing that’s so crazy to me about this 5,343 people wrote in and voted for

28:02 Jason to die

28:07 5,271 voted for his survival it was a margin of 72 votes that killed Jason

28:14 Todd that’s insane yeah changed comic books forever man this was so understand

28:21 little like 11-year-old Michael kept reading thinking like there’s no way

28:26 they can kill him he’s Robin I didn’t know right oh my God all right I’m sorry I

28:33 did [ __ ] man this I did not mean I did not realize I was gonna [ __ ] with you that hard I do apologize it also for our

28:39 listeners if you’ve never read it it is one of the best oh it’s one of my favorites probably my second favorite

28:45 comic of all time is probably why I’m hooked on Comics to this day as a 40-year-old man is because of family it

28:51 was that [ __ ] good thanks T actually it was mean but but thank you I I thought I did it because I knew you’d

28:57 appreciate the joke I real you’re going to like hit you that hard I’m sorry brother I do appreciate it this hey hey

29:03 brain I just wanted to let you know when you talk about sports it’s like listening to these two guys right now

29:09 hey I’m in the comics and I have no idea what they’re talking about oh yeah I

29:14 mean I get I get the feelings part I just never had read this I’ll send you a copy I’ll send you the I’ll send you the

29:19 yeah dude bro all right moving on mercifully I’m sorry for the emotional Jesus Christ my dumb ass posted this a

29:26 couple years ago and it’s uh got a picture here of Bill NY in Dolph lren

29:32 and it says that moment when you find out that Dolph lren is exponentially more qualified to be called a scientist

29:38 than Bill and NY is because Bill NY is a uh B A Bachelor of Science Med

29:45 mechanical engineering from Cornell University do Lundin has a be Bachelor

29:50 of Science in chemistry from Washington State uh Bachelor of Science chemical engineering Royal Institute of

29:55 Technology in Stockholm Masters of Science in chemical engineering University of Sydney oh yeah and the

30:02 dude’s also a full bright scholarship recipient from MIT okay but but Bill NY never called

30:09 himself the scientist he’s true sence Science Guy

30:14 and I feel like bachelor’s degree is more than qualified to be a science guy oh no I totally agree it’s just it just

30:20 the fact that Dolph Lunden hang on did you fact check

30:26 this yes this is no accurate um Sylvester Stallone actually even read into a movie he made a character that

30:32 Dolph Lunden played and The Expendables have this exact backstory because he just thought it was funny that this was

30:39 Dolph that’s hilarious nice all right well I think we’ve all learned something

30:44 here today uh work rated memes yeah we learned that I’m an idiot all right work

30:50 related memes he’s got the picture of a long-haired Steve Carell from the office in his fanny pack shaking hands and

30:56 looking nervous with this Big Boss some [ __ ] and the big boss some [ __ ] is labeled my manager telling me we are a

31:02 family and Steve Carell’s labeled me who already applied to 30 different families this week oh

31:08 Jesus yeah baby working sucks all right

31:13 moving on uh Quinny the spooky lawyer I don’t

31:20 know you uh post a picture of a back of a uh looks like a dump truck here says

31:26 the organic recycler a great start to your day begins with an excellent dump

31:31 Jesus ha now that is that is truth and

31:36 advertising that is TR that’s what the Starbucks is for baby all right moving

31:43 on this is the last one I got wrapping up the short round one here out of context human race front of the show

31:50 hello it’s got a box of nuggets here and their sauces and everything says y’all peel your nuggets and Ure these

31:58 unbred chicken nuggets and all the little nugget peelings are set aside in the other end of the box and uh nobody

32:06 special uh comments you belong in a mental institution I

32:11 concur I mean I like the nibble the PE the the breading off a little bit but yeah I don’t do this [ __ ] that’s that’s

32:18 some kind of compulsive OCD type of thing that’s weird and that’s all I got for the world famous authen imitated

32:24 never duplicated Short Round One brought to you by the dumbest [ __ ] I can find on the internet uh over to

32:32 youborn Dan we never judge you well done so

32:38 cool very nice yes D said she used to dip her her

32:43 stuff like that when she was a kid don’t judge her but I I’m definitely judging her when she gets old I’m definitely you

32:48 know why though cuz now she don’t dip her nuggets and [ __ ] everything is dry this lady’s just so dry no [ __ ] sauce

32:54 on nothing sandwiches dry everything dry bra we’re scheduled for Wednesday for

33:00 coup’s counseling not Thursday yeah this is today is the day to yell at your

33:08 God no all right into the wholesome round which I think is hilarious and probably

33:14 usually just branding uh TD you reminded me of this from friend of the show Morgan mly uh who is engaged to our

33:21 other friend of the show um uh Who’s name Jeff Bailey she’s posted he’s

33:28 posted uh from dark spooky mobra and more uh a post from patience sha Bran

33:33 who says you know would suck if you died and found out there were ghost jobs like you had to work at the ghost post office

33:40 or some [ __ ] no no no no no I was like man that

33:48 theology sucks I don’t want I don’t want to be a ghost Logistics guy right no doubt man

33:55 worrying about ghost robots taking over your ghost job that

34:01 sucks hey I wanted to get to this cuz breaking news that I forgot to slip in at the top former County Clerk gets nine

34:07 years in prison for tampering with the voting machines you remember Tina Peters she was the former Clerk of Mesa County

34:13 Colorado tried to prove that their machines had been used to rig the 2020 election so she brought in the my pillow

34:19 guys like forensic investigator and she goes yeah sure open the uh open the voting machines up go ahead turns out

34:26 that’s crime oh no’s going to prison and I I tell you

34:32 what man she she looks a little pretty for prison I’m screwing around uh KLA H KLA

34:40 HQ uh during the the debate uh this Tuesday actually posted this during the

34:46 debate so moderator just to clarify Springfield’s Haitian migrants have legal status Vance the rules were you

34:52 guys weren’t going to fact check it’s just funny it’s still

35:00 funny FR of the show Blair ersin at Blair ersin says once I ate an Almond

35:05 Joy and broke out in hives so I was like maybe I’m allergic to almonds and my dad said or maybe you’re allergic to Joy and

35:12 he was right I feel that uh this one is

35:19 captioned solid book review we see a woman asleep on a subway and in her book in her hands is the book how to sleep oh

35:25 how to sleep oh yeah solid yeah I’m GNA order that one for my library uh moving on uh TIY would you

35:33 read this one for me ABS fraking lutely it says when you do it good on your diet

35:38 but Pizza be like and it’s this um I’m guessing this is from the movie sausage

35:44 party it’s this sexy anamorphic piz of

35:50 pizza with pepperoni bra um looking very like Hey Big Boy can we get you a slice

35:57 man so yeah shame on you for making me read

36:02 that I liked it hey here we got a little family circus uh from Bill Keane uh

36:07 cartoon and uh and Little Billy is pointing at his book and he says italics make it look like the winds blowing in

36:14 my book that was adorable little dude a’t

36:19 ain’t wrong super wholesome anyway about halfway through here we got a picture of

36:25 a cat in a box from chewy said it’s Friday you have no responsibilities your litter box just

36:32 got clean new food shipment just came in and you get the box nice that is the

36:39 that is the floor of the kitchen I had in the place I lived in before here oh yeah man if if that is totally my

36:45 kitchen yeah if this was in my kitchen around as little boy I’d be pushing that cat around we’d be playing Cat Taxi

36:52 absolutely sliding around absolutely great uh so uh uh brain you had an evil

36:59 egg uh Cartoon so I wanted to uh come back with East coasted notes you know

37:05 this is the four panel art form that’s done on Post-it notes on yellow posted notes or ostensible yellow posted notes

37:11 says uh his evil knows no bounds is the caption we see a man he says the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was

37:18 convincing us he wasn’t real and guy says I don’t know dude did you hear how he got Carl question mark we go down and

37:25 we see Satan he says say Carl could you peel this

37:30 hardboiled egg well sure Satan oh no it’s just a regular egg it’s

37:36 all over my hands Satan’s

37:46 going a little slow in Hil Satan there but that’s all right got about four more I uh I didn’t get enough mudang

37:53 mudang and this is just a four panel says mudang are you today like mudang and we got mudang going we got mudang

38:01 going we got mudang going and we got mudang going I’m all about me some moodang he

38:09 looks like a Nerf football that you left out in the rain they became sentient

38:15 super moisturized and happy to be there here I don’t know if you know that in

38:21 libraries it is band books week and it says walking into band books week and it’s mudang in the library it says

38:28 unbothered moisturized [Laughter]

38:33 happy freedom to read people it’s band books week yay here we have a mother

38:39 hippo talking to her little kid hippo who’s got his arms crossed and won’t eat his food and she’s saying finish your food son there are hippos out there who

38:46 are hungry hungry I love that game as a

38:53 kid and finally a news story that I I think blew right past all of us uh pop

39:00 base reports gunshots were fired at the kamla Harris’s campaign office in Arizona says there are currently no

39:06 reported injuries as nobody was inside the building so somebody shot up the building after hours and uh best and

39:12 worst of Twitter has this comment from M lick at mlck who says these new age assassins are so ass

39:21 bro oh my that was my wholesome round

39:27 ostensibly handing it back to you quiet Michael for right uh interstitial round

39:34 two all right here comes the irrelevant round to uh at leam

39:40 Merck uh says Comfort doesn’t die it reinvents itself and on the left we have

39:46 a pacifier and on the right we have a vape pin oh

39:52 word Vinnie Thomas says nobody is putting gargoyles on building anymore it

39:58 can’t be that much more expensive to slap a gargoyle up there yeah need to be a proper

40:04 country you know what I I I agree with this dude I just love all of the we used

40:11 to be a proper country where it’s it’s it’s just such a great like uh yeah

40:18 tagline some seriously we do need more gargo anab Boris at

40:24 anabis that’s right anab Boris at anabis says today in incredible power moves my

40:31 HomeGoods cashier sniffed each of my candles as she rung them up and nodded

40:36 or shook her head after each yeah that is a power move

40:43 damn can you imagine smelling a candle somebody’s buying and then just shaking your head no dude I can imagine making

40:51 friends with them and doing that in line yes I can see you doing that in line

40:59 TD I’m actually gonna have you read this one because I think you’ll just do a better job God damn it this is already

41:04 karma for no it’s not Karma I promise okay uh Chris Ste Stevens I don’t know

41:11 you it says when I pack too much for a short trip and it’s um 11 from stranger

41:19 things up against the wall like breathing really heavy like almost panic

41:24 attack lookie and there’s that creepy dude down the hallway just like

41:30 looking and it just the clo caption says 11

41:36 pant which why don’t you just get one more pair and have 12 pants come on

41:42 now moving on moist Buddha moist Buddha keeping it moist

41:49 keeping it Buddha retweets discussing film who says a diddy document documentary is in the

41:55 work on Netflix we’ll focus on on did his charges of sex trafficking and racketeering sexual assault violent abuse allegations executive produced by

42:03 50 Cent yeah and Ryan says the devil works hard

42:08 but 50 Cent Works harder dude Josh Josh Johnson has a whole bit about this and

42:15 do you know what the working title is no did he do it oh no yes you knew it was

42:23 coming this this is why I’m single says me it’s going to be a good day anxiety

42:29 it’s like you don’t even care about what happened in Third Grade anymore oh bro shut up that’s Oh that’s

42:35 oh that’s ped I have a couple more here the Chive friend of the show The Chive has a

42:41 picture of looks like a pasta salad and then um I don’t know sandwich and some noodles on the like two plates one is

42:47 pasta salad the other plate is sandwich and noodles and it says my latest invention double lunch I prepare myself

42:53 a lunch and before I eat it I prepare myself a whole set separate lunch then I eat both of them double

43:01 lunch that sounds like a typical day for a fat guy I’ve been doing just since

43:07 third grade brother and my final meme for this round has the mythb Busters and

43:15 um the the the one guy is uh in the driver’s seat but he has both of his

43:20 hands behind his head and the other guy in the passenger seat the one with the Beret uh he’s leaned over and his hand

43:26 is is uh obscured it’s it’s been blurred out in uh the lap of the driver and it

43:33 says myths aren’t all they bust oh and that’s H round two they

43:41 irrelevant round kicking it over to brain damage I think that was the appropriate response for that meeting

43:47 speaking of irrelevant this one’s going to be all ddy all the time we got out of and we’re going to just Breeze

43:53 through this P he’s innocent here we have a picture of Stevie Wonder and P

43:58 Diddy I honestly thought that was Scotty Pippen but let’s keep it moving yeah it

44:04 does kind of resembl scary peppin it says American singer songwriter Stevie Wonder defends Diddy I didn’t see

44:11 anything illegal oh my God here we have a picture of Napoleon

44:19 Dynamite with Diddy uh photoshopped over it and it says petroleum

44:24 dynamite oh my God here we’ve got a diddy album cover and it says I’ll be

44:30 missing Lube every dick I take from those big

44:35 inmates I’ll be missing Lube okay oh my

44:41 and then here we have a a picture of the cartoon um I think it was Madagascar and

44:46 that original King Julian man oh yeah and uh Diddy’s head is is photoshopped

44:53 over original King Julian and it says I like to little bit little bit I like to little bit little bit you like catch it

45:00 that’s a cat it little bit little bit here we have

45:06 Macio NYC Mauricio whatever they put up a a

45:13 Photoshop of Diddy face over um what his dude’s name again Buffalo Bill from

45:18 Buffalo Bill there we go from Silence of the land yeah yeah yeah yeah and then it’s it’s also burn these memes but it

45:26 puts the Lube on the body or it gets the hose again come on so bad I know one with the

45:35 the guy that’s sitting in the chair that says change my mind and it says if the dildo doesn’t fit you must

45:45 quit oh that’s so bad all right here we’ve got a game of cones with Diddy

45:50 sing on the throne of baby oil yep and looks like that one’s hand

45:56 of the meme that did that one there here we’ve got somebody just put Diddy photoshopped

46:02 over Shang song from Mortal Kombat movie and it says your hole is mine oh

46:10 no oh it looks like dumbass toes shop dumbass something

46:17 something well you made a good me my friend I like Mortal Kombat here if somebody made a meme they

46:22 didn’t tag themselves in their artwork so I just say Diddy the fool because he’s photoshopped over Mr T I did it

46:32 fo oh no and here we have fitty Krueger with 50 cents photoshopped over Freddy

46:37 Krueger and holding Diddy’s face in his clawed Hand by Lou loud mix L loud loud memes

46:46 see I can’t even read right good deal and it’s GNA this one’s going to be the

46:51 last one for me it’s just Cat Williams Behind like a heaven scene and it says I told y’all I told I told y’all Diddy be

47:00 wanting a party and what did I say what you got to tell him no cuz you know you gotta tell him no okay because when P be

47:07 W in the party you gotta tell him no passing it off to you P titty oh I mean

47:13 uh uh uh and I’m going to fly to California and dropkick

47:20 you leune I first want to apologize for every time I’ve done a round full of dad

47:26 jokes or made you read a a lot of dad jokes and like that that was painful for

47:32 me to experience brains drown and I apologize for what I’ve done to you leun please accept my apologies uh kicking

47:40 off uh round two the anade round guys take the over trust me

47:47 um yeah let’s do this boom okay cool

47:54 um what is that oopsy meme front of the show uhop got a picture here says

48:02 scientist accidentally grew a chicken with the face of a dinosaur and it’s a chicken with a face of a dinosaur good

48:09 um and Anon says you don’t accidentally grow a dinosaur chicken y’all always be

48:17 lying and yeah like you this is not an oops this is like some Jurassic Park

48:23 [ __ ] yeah that that’s a whole new angle for dino nuggets [ __ ] yeah brain I’m so

48:30 mad that I didn’t think of that first all right dude I was I was craving dino nuggets this whole

48:36 time I’m always craving dino nuggets because I’m fat all right moving on and I would strip the skins off him to see

48:42 what’s up of course you would uh the Bulldog front of the show um says I’m the kind

48:49 of person that will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating enough I feel every word

48:57 this cheers cheers to this oh my gosh

49:03 okay uh friend of the show once again uh see you at poker tomorrow night Satan

49:09 hell Satan Hil Satan he he he repost from slime Tony it says anybody know any

49:16 good substitutes for love and personal fulfillment uh you USB dongle says uh

49:22 Crunch Wrap Supreme Taco Bell I feel best because I like Taco Bell

49:29 when I’m feeling bad dude that is that you know what I think this might really

49:39 be I told you guys hey leun I would like you to read this one I don’t think it’s

49:45 gonna be as bad as last time I don’t think he’s on here

49:50 anymore or something I don’t see him Leon no he’s right there no he’s not

49:57 where’d he go yeah okay well I’m gonna read it while leune tries to come back from The Ether um spill the memes for

50:06 the show hey it says people you can’t be

50:13 what okay uh spill memes says uh people you can’t be spiritual and use swear

50:18 words me and it’s picture of this like Su God person holding some flowers

50:24 sitting in a chair looking kind of and [ __ ] says [ __ ] I’m spiritual as [Laughter]

50:34 [ __ ] yeah there we go moving on period yeah uh friend of the show friend

50:41 of mine uh from back in the day Danny Ireland um he repost I love

50:48 tequila and siore I thought of you immediately when I read this and it says

50:53 drunk me has made a lot of friends it sober me has no idea who they are yeah

50:59 like I don’t even speak their language I don’t know how it happened yeah like that made me think

51:04 you and think of front of the show Larry Smith oving on oh hey we did

51:13 this uh it’s so good first time I know I

51:18 I yeah it was the devil um yeah I mean

51:23 like yeah it’s a cool concept I I think the s motion that we noted the cross is the cross actually spinning upside down

51:30 I think they did that in one of The Exorcist movies yep and maybe like did kind of a little Modge to it in the

51:37 opening of the uh Keana Reeves Constantine movie as well possibly all

51:42 right yeah anyway I thought it was a cool little meme Moving on but brain did it first because you know he did um he

51:49 hips FR of the show head hips it says trying to get trying to get your wasted homie home while you’re tripping balls

51:56 and it’s beas and Butthead recreating the scene in ET where they they’re going

52:01 across the moon and beas is in the basket wrapped up in a blanket shivering

52:07 like beas does yeah it’s pretty funny very nice balls get the homie home all

52:13 right moving on yo uh jacked up keeping at Country okay

52:19 um says me my ducks are absolutely not in a row at this point I don’t even know where my ducks are my ducks and it’s pi

52:26 picture of a couple of ducks in the backseat of a cop car I’ve owned Ducks this is accurate as [ __ ] ducks are evil

52:34 little shits and I don’t care who hears me say it I’m anti-d duck good to know

52:40 all right moving on anti-d duck anti-d duck they are delicious though all right

52:46 uh Ruth was Psycho friend of the show hey say says salesman this car seats six

52:52 people without any problems me I don’t think I know six people without any

52:57 problems oh my God every H to all of you fans of Facebook for the blind who are

53:05 my friends okay hey mental illness awareness

53:10 episode cool word uh last last one uh we got here

53:19 from friend of the show Josh Burke uh says it’s got a picture of a football

53:24 player making out with this uh fan girl and says nothing brings siblings together like Alabama

53:34 football tide and that wraps up uh T’s neade round because guess what oh

53:43 yeah moving over to you seore absolutely

53:49 hilarious uh yeah good times yeah let’s see here so we’ve done the irrelevant

53:54 round the inebriated round the uh okay I’m going to do the uh irrational round

54:01 the completely irrational round because why not you know anything can happen right um oh brought to you by uh brought

54:09 to you by I got to do a brought to you

54:15 by yeah okay sorry didn’t get it straightened

54:21 out fast enough oh man where’s my buttons buttons buttons where’s my buttons

54:28 this the testicular difficulties portion of the show oh my god did you go there

54:35 you know I’m sensitive about my testicles and you know I go there

54:40 because I’m weird as [ __ ] man I GNA come over there and beat your stubs with my

54:49 balls stop by diddies and grab some baby oil buddy cuz that sounds like a good time to

54:54 me the naal round brought to you by culu 2020 no lives

55:02 matter I just I like a good like a good cthulu joke and uh haven’t updated it

55:07 yet but I do like it uh here we got Senator Vance say Pinocchio with jimy Cricket on his nose wagging his finger

55:13 at him says Senator Vance you once said that Donald Trump was America’s Hitler how do you respond to that he’s

55:21 just because he did I thought it was funny here we got got a picture of uh

55:27 the the Tangerine toddler and he’s scaled a pole and he’s up on the cell towers and says spotted climbing and

55:32 fixing a Verizon phone tower after the national

55:37 outage which oh hor [ __ ] it’s just like him this one’s for

55:43 you TIY little cartoon of a mom uh she’s got kids like pulling on her clothes there’s a TV on dad’s watching sports

55:50 kids chasing the cat and her husband says hey hun what you reading and the book is called the paragraph over and

55:58 over now see I I I see this and I think of the movie The Shining and all work

56:04 and no play makes Jack a doughboy over and over I am reading the

56:11 same memes over and over again hey here’s a little bit of news but it just made me happy uh the man who

56:18 punched the unite the right organizer uh Nazi was fined $1 by a

56:24 jury Justice has prevailed I absolutely love it absolutely love it love to hear

56:30 it oh by the way to update on Kyle writtenhouse he’s got a book out it’s failing miserably oh yeah written in

56:37 crayon well and I was like the funniest thing was is that I sat there and I thought to myself the vend diagram of

56:43 people who like Kyle writtenhouse and people who buy books yeah there’s not a lot of overlap

56:50 there no man dude you buy some books that’s coming out of your gun budget buddy

56:57 anyway uh this next one’s from the New Mexico Department of memes and propagandas and if you’re not following

57:02 the New Mexico Department of memes and propagandas where are you getting your memes and your propagandas anyway

57:08 they’ve got a post from the Gordon Ramsey fan club at pathological says quote what if I get someone pregnant but

57:15 she wants an abortion and I want to keep it male tears and it says well you could

57:20 get yourself a girlfriend who also wants a baby and respect that woman aren’t your [ __ ] herb gardens you little

57:25 gargoyle [ __ ] yeah which I just thought was pretty good and then like uh New Mexico

57:33 Department of memes and propag ganders is like disagree let me know which is the new come at me come at

57:40 me bro yeah you know it’s like weird Flex bro

57:45 yeah so you know it’s a disaster Zone in the Carolinas I wanted to tell you guys a bit of a heartwarming story here my

57:50 mechanics who have organized a donation Drive online and specifically were looking for food for the the mules she

57:57 Tracked Down the mules you remember hearing about the pack mules she calls the guy up she goes they got any food

58:02 she goes I’ll bring you food they’re going down to prair feeds they’re loading up a 26 foot trailer at a KCM

58:07 there on North Cunningham you know the place I’m talking about Titi and yeah they do and I would love to like figure

58:12 out how to maybe donate a bag of feed dude swing by there that back room was

58:17 stuffed and I said do you got any like period products she goes we got a huge collection of tampons and period

58:23 products and I got to tell you what uh I choked up I had a ton of feels cuz I

58:29 hate Humanity most of the time and seeing all that stuff and all that good that they organized on Facebook and they’re going to drive it down there

58:35 this this weekend uh just it blew my mind blew my mind so wanted to share that with you now meanwhile uh the

58:42 Tangerine toddler had a completely different idea of how to help out with the disasters in the Carolinas and Georgia uh Aid workers down there saving

58:50 lives and rebuilding Georgia and Trump shows up and says hey take some of those bricks from that destroyed building and

58:56 build a tiny little wall around my Podium hey probably got his wall built

59:01 and we see him there with a guy behind him that looks an awful lot like fwell I don’t know if Michael’s on the look I

59:07 don’t know it looks like that old guy Swagger it looks like Swagger in a jacket yeah a little bit a little bit

59:13 very weird very weird little brick wall and like I don’t know I don’t know who helped him out with that got about three

59:19 four more here uh Grandma’s witchy ways has a picture of three witches Around The Cauldron typical green wart on their

59:26 big noses and hats and the whole nine yards and it says eye of potato ear of

59:32 corn head of lettuce because they are vegan witches hell yeah I actually appreciate

59:42 that three more oh man sorry this is uh three years ago and it’s the story of

59:47 Original House of Pancakes versus by Mia says uh ohop versus dad

59:55 and Mia we go to IHOP for breakfast we

1:00:00 order waffles and bacon and biscuits and gravy and eggs and we tried to eat it

1:00:07 all we failed ohop always wins the egg

1:00:13 thanks now I’m hungry that’s usually what I do to to

1:00:18 size more but you just made mer hungry I know right when’s the last time a kid like uh wrote a store you found

1:00:24 compelling oh this kid’s going places man my kid’s a genius uh this next one’s

1:00:30 from cyber Crump who says new word martyr bation it’s the pleasure of

1:00:35 complaining or fantasizing about being persecuted when practiced by people who aren’t actually being

1:00:41 persecuted bro why the [ __ ] did you make me learn that word

1:00:47 mation because once you learn to tune in to marur bation you hear conservatives whining about being oppressed everywhere

1:00:54 and I just want to say to them s I saw you over Co you felt oppressed by

1:00:59 wearing pains lastly puns for all and all for

1:01:05 puns friend of the show has a post from Anna yulani who says the fact that Keith Richard has outlives Richard Simmons

1:01:11 really makes me question this whole healthy eating and exercise thing I mean

1:01:17 valid [ __ ] point what are you going to do and that was my irrelevant

1:01:23 interstitial round two on to you Michael quiet Michael I’m

1:01:30 gonna tag in for Michael because he he messaged me and asked if he could uh get a few moments to to put the kid to bed

1:01:37 right so I’m gonna start off the round three I don’t remember what the [ __ ] this round is called I remember some ass

1:01:43 word like pen pen Ulta Ulta penmanship something about porn or pins

1:01:51 or something like that maybe they lock kids in cages over here I don’t know the ultimate round yeah there we go let’s do

1:01:58 only fans me and my sarcasm bunch of laugh faces that says

1:02:04 I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up shut up and subtitles just come out

1:02:10 of my face word that’s awesome yeah that means I’m mean mugging the [ __ ] out of

1:02:17 you you know mean yeah oh wild meme has uh [ __ ] I forgot to read the rest of

1:02:23 this post they post posted but why is it already Monday again and it has a

1:02:29 cartoon picture of what looks to be like at trus or a Tru and and that white dog

1:02:35 that he flies on in The Never Ending Story the luck dragon yeah swine yeah

1:02:43 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah there we go I know I should have asked TIY from jump but I was so interested in man like

1:02:50 you gang banger is is he actually dropping a tier or is that a gang banger

1:02:55 te tear drop tattoo there cuz defitely got a joint his a tear he did he did not

1:03:01 shank a fool in the showers at Sing Sing you never know cause shank could

1:03:07 mean different things from over there from over here bro you never know anyways uh a tro has a beer in his

1:03:16 hand and Balor has a joint in his mouth and it says The NeverEnding

1:03:22 [Music] [ __ ] oh you guys are supposed to sing along [ __ ]

1:03:29 y’all I’m too in my fields to be singing I was clapping along though okay okay

1:03:35 okay okay I’ll take that I’ll take that uh promiz Mark grenage at mdv 43 posted

1:03:43 some picture of some gigantic animal it’s a little bit too blurry for me to see possibly a water

1:03:48 buffalo and he is stomping out possibly some kind of gazelle or some [ __ ] and

1:03:54 buffalo is labeled US Congress and the gazelle or some [ __ ] is labeled American

1:04:01 citizens yep that’s how it feels and shouts out to me H having Shawn price

1:04:06 versus volume volume six on play while I CED this mem yes I did I couldn’t get it

1:04:13 out the way since Titi wanted to bring up smart

1:04:19 [ __ ] forever posted I couldn’t crop them in because I didn’t have enough space

1:04:24 jiz may be the only Rapture who who rapper who lectures about quantum physics at Ivy League institutions

1:04:29 including Harvard and MIT that honor stems from his acknowledged role as the

1:04:34 genius or the Voltron head of Hip Hop’s most notorious group wuang Clan and it

1:04:40 is true people he does not have the degree but yet he has the knowledge and

1:04:45 people don’t know and it says people you didn’t know were people you didn’t know were

1:04:51 scientists and jizza of the wuang clan is educated in physics and has given lect to MIT and Harvard this is true

1:05:01 yes and if you listen to his lyrics they very intricate and a lot of

1:05:06 De you could you could tell the dude’s playing with a stacked uh deck in the

1:05:11 intelligence department when you listen to him yeah yeah yeah definitely but uh

1:05:17 do not get it twisted yes he does got a finger gun there while he is while he is making that lecture he’ll [ __ ] you up

1:05:23 [ __ ] are still from the streets you know what I mean he’ll [ __ ] you up he’ll just be smart as [ __ ] as he does

1:05:28 it right yeah insult your intelligence while he does it

1:05:34 too and here we have at insta Chaz with two A’s has a cartoon it says tourist

1:05:42 map of Australia and it’s a cartoon map of Australia it has all on the land it’s

1:05:48 in green the outline is in Black the ocean around it is in blue the green area and the key is marked AR area will

1:05:56 things on land will kill you the area in blue is labeled area will things on

1:06:02 water will kill you and the black line is labeled both

1:06:09 yeah B you go to Australia you’re gonna die [ __ ] you’re gonna die very

1:06:15 accurate here we go with Indian Hills Community Center Billboards again I love

1:06:20 these guys this time they’ve got a silver truck going by maybe that’s always there maybe it’s not maybe I just figured out for the first time who

1:06:28 knows this one says I buy my guns from a godam T-Rex he’s a small arms

1:06:40 dealer me too indan Hills me too congratulations you just got your first

1:06:46 uh this from my wife at the badge of honor around here yeah I’m in the family now yes all

1:06:54 I need is one of my pinky toes cut off oh I take it this one has a I don’t know

1:07:01 who posted this one I think it was [ __ ] around and find out who knows but it’s a cartoon picture of Jesus it says Jesus

1:07:08 doesn’t want to see this he just has no choice and uh he’s got his two hands over his over his eyes but those hands

1:07:16 have holes in them oh Jesus I’m okay with the fact I’m going to hell for

1:07:21 laughing at this but I know that I’m going to hell for laughing for this yeah yeah well all the best bands are in hell

1:07:29 yeah I mean uh let’s be honest this is how he’s looking at America right now oh

1:07:34 yeah yeah I told some friends of mine the other day just having the choice of

1:07:39 Trump versus kamales like asking me do I want to eat these razors or do I want to Chomp on these Rusty Nails here I don’t

1:07:47 I don’t really like either one so I don’t know yeah and right along the same topic

1:07:54 is this uh Ashton C I think that’s cutcher with some kind of helmet on and he’s uh he looks like he’s

1:08:01 very happy in stone this might be dude we my car but I’ve never seen that movie so I have no [ __ ] clue it says any

1:08:07 day now the billionaires are going to save us all from their friends oh what the [ __ ] yeah here we

1:08:16 have a four panel from Talk Nerdy To Me first panel is an old school Nintendo

1:08:22 cartridge that looks a little frustrated in uh the guy sticking his Q-tip in it

1:08:27 trying to get the dust out second panel the the cartridge is looking a little bit more happy the guy blows in the

1:08:35 cartridge third panel he turns it over smacks it on its ass and uh fourth panel

1:08:40 he is playing his video game and it says dirty little slot if you remember the NES that was

1:08:48 how you had to do every game that that is literally how you had to [ __ ] do it that is lit you had on life they were

1:08:56 like you were never supposed to blow in that cartridge [ __ ] did it work yeah you were doing play on that cartridge

1:09:02 and it worked it did work it did work sometimes youed to have to pull a threesome did you ever have the Nintendo

1:09:08 where you had to push it down and it wouldn’t go back up put extra cartri wedge it down with another cartridge yep

1:09:14 yep Nintendo threesoms all right last one for me on this one is [ __ ]

1:09:19 Galore Brian J White at talk wordy posted dear 30 something lady with a

1:09:27 license plate M4 M4 bear I am sorry Mama

1:09:33 Bear was taken but you have made a terrible mistake yeah M4 M4 bear oh

1:09:44 yeah wow passing not TI but to quiet

1:09:51 Michael taking off round I’m jumping in my round for pen ultimate round uh we

1:09:58 starts off with this two panel sort of and the first picture is a picture of the Hamburger Helper glove guy and then

1:10:06 uh the second picture is just like imagining what that would be so the nose

1:10:12 stays the same but that there’s just like a giant skull buried in a rib cage just a horribly deformed creature

1:10:21 thing picture why would you who hurt you of the human from the the cartoon movie

1:10:28 Hotel Transylvania he just looks really sad and it says [ __ ] born in December still waiting for their

1:10:37 birthday my sister’s birthday is December 27 dude oh yeah I’ve seen this Jody at

1:10:45 WNBA girlfriend says I have a gut feeling that yelling at service workers will bring my wife

1:10:52 back oh yeah I’ve worked at that rest

1:10:58 man this would really hurt me Kevin oh no David says philosophy Majors be like

1:11:04 damn I have a thought dude this

1:11:11 Friday pony boy face pony boy face shopping says be so completely yourself

1:11:18 that no one is attracted to you or wants to employ you yes

1:11:26 I hated this uh it doesn’t say it on here but I think this might be from the chive and it says taters on the go and

1:11:34 we see a a picture with poort panels of a water bottle with Idaho and classic

1:11:41 mashed potato mix and they pour it directly into the water bottle in the second panel in the

1:11:47 third panel he shakes it out and in the fourth panel just a guy

1:11:53 drinking in instant mashed potato out of a water bottle I am a fat Caucasian

1:11:59 midwesterner and I do not approve of this it’s it’s too fat some things are

1:12:05 too fat heren says why are threes SS only for sex why can’t I join a couple’s

1:12:11 argument if I want to oh my god did I write

1:12:17 this right and my last meme for round three the penultimate round comes from

1:12:23 Ryan Pito in Texas he retweets dprk news service which I

1:12:29 think is like the North Korean actual like uh oh yeah government’s propaganda

1:12:35 it’s a picture of Kim Jong-un and it says supreme leader Kim Jong-un thinks you can achieve your dreams if you

1:12:40 believe Ryan lost in Texas says I needed to hear this

1:12:49 today and that’s all I got for round three leaving only my post with the most kicking it over to utti

1:12:55 dude I I just got an idea for a whole line of inspirational posters and motivational slogans from Kim

1:13:03 Jong-un I’d be done for it i’ hey hey that’s old school getting a pass off

1:13:08 from leune and he didn’t damage my psyche what the hell all right um hey guys uh round three turkeys bring them

1:13:15 in let’s go boom top AC acting um The Macho new for

1:13:24 the show uh post a picture here it says seven-year-old me after getting a paper crown from Burger King and it’s Macho

1:13:31 King Randy Savage uh with Sensational Sherry uh looking very Regal and very

1:13:37 evil and I hated this guy when I was a kid okay all right moving

1:13:46 on uh here we go my dumb ass posted this about three years back and it says it’s

1:13:52 got a picture of a guy eating pizza rolls it says life tip bite the corner off your pizza roll and blow into it for

1:13:58 instant and easy Cooling and my fav’s trash uh comments life is too short for

1:14:04 this put the whole thing in your mouth and do that open chewing thing while breathing dragon

1:14:10 fire accurate yeah now I want some pizza rolls now my fat ass is hungry uh moving

1:14:17 on uh Li lilix bone I don’t know um said

1:14:23 it’s got a picture of Goofy sitting in a chair uh holding what appears to be a joint with smoke coming out of it and it

1:14:29 says I don’t do drugs i s plants on fire and breathe and I always knew that goofy was a stoner and this confirms it it is

1:14:36 is Cannon all right moving on

1:14:42 nice uh front of the show Once Again Satan H hey hell Satan uh it’s got a

1:14:49 picture of this Victorian looking [ __ ] uh talking to this Victorian lady looking lady and the guy

1:14:55 goes I like to tell Dad jokes and the lady goes does he laugh guy’s like what’s like go

1:15:03 home get it I like tell Dad jokes yeah yeah okay moov

1:15:10 on of the show friend of the universe friend of you and me Jason Jester hey buddy hey

1:15:15 Jason uh he just posted a campaign slogan of a meteor uh it says giant

1:15:21 meteor 2024 just ended already here here he’s got my vote I’m gonna like yeah

1:15:27 come on meteor let’s do this y mine too we’ve had an we had we had not a

1:15:35 good run uh friend of the show uh Joe an Joe the animal hey buddy um got a picture of this older

1:15:42 gentleman in his uh underwear and a t-shirt uh eating popcorn in his

1:15:47 recliner it say and he’s looking at a globe that’s on fire it says when you’ve been telling management about a problem

1:15:53 for weeks and now you’re just like that yeah I feel this yep moving

1:16:02 on once again friend of the show Jason Jester uh just says some people’s third

1:16:08 eye is their B hole all right

1:16:15 okay uh friend of the show friend of mine Jessica Jessica McCormick uh just

1:16:21 says I don’t have time to Google lyrics I sing What I Hear Dam dancing queen young and sweet only seven

1:16:29 teeth you know you know you know exactly what song I was even referencing so come on you know it’s right all right moving

1:16:38 on uh disappointing affirmations friend of the show it’s got a picture of a

1:16:43 beach and water coming up on the beach it says Be the Change you want to see in the world shut the [ __ ] up for once in

1:16:48 your life I need these posters on my wall at work all right moving on herge

1:16:58 Chef uh let’s see here wrapping up uh round three here we got daily meme it

1:17:04 says does your life insurance know that you like being strangled during sex and

1:17:09 Nationwide Life plans comments on this going we cover strangulations just

1:17:14 saying and someone like actually wrote hahaa over that and then Stephy Scott just just like man Nationwide is on your

1:17:23 side Nationwide official sponsor of Facebook

1:17:29 for the blind Facebook for the blind yes very nice oh Bravo to their PR Twitter

1:17:36 dude you know what I’m saying like Bravo sir or Madam well done nice all but

1:17:44 your yeah round three done seore fun excellent

1:17:49 excellent this uh segment uh the uh I think we just what did you call it brain there the porn ultimate the ultimate

1:17:56 porn round brought to you by weird sodas that’s right weird sodas things only

1:18:02 tiedy would drink ranch dressing soda buffalo wing soda bacon

1:18:10 soda yeah out of all out of all those the pumpkin pie soda I might try

1:18:16 everything else can get [ __ ] stay [ __ ] uh TI’s drinking this stuff off camera right freaking now

1:18:25 pepper friend of the FR of the show Christen yakis uh has this post that

1:18:30 she’s labeled honestly uh Rosenstein uncore says I have been nothing but

1:18:36 distant and hard to read and this is how you treat

1:18:41 me I thought was pretty good uh secret agent number six at designation six says

1:18:47 I know Darth Vader turned to the dark side and blew up a whole planet but I just don’t know enough about Luke

1:18:52 Skywalker [Laughter]

1:18:58 uh sticking with the Sci-Fi theme we have a four panel from the marginal menite Society didn’t see Sci-Fi coming

1:19:04 from there did you uh this is a Wondermark cartoon by David Malachi for panel we see a Victorian man talking to

1:19:11 a Victorian woman and he’s saying you ever get the feeling you’re on the cusp of doing something either really great

1:19:16 or really terrible and we see now in the second panel a man has appeared in a

1:19:21 beam of light with like a sickle and a helmet and he’s going to he’s going to launch an attack at the man’s back and

1:19:27 the woman says hold that thought a moment another time traveling assassin oh these guys are really getting more

1:19:34 persistent wait for it and we see another helmeted man with a laser gun show up and he goes says end time cop

1:19:43 thanks Sully woman says I’m getting real

1:19:48 curious to find out what you get up to that makes everyone in the 28th Century so anxious he said you think they’d at

1:19:55 least yell something to give me an

1:20:01 idea loved it moving on here’s a cover from a great magazine called [ __ ]

1:20:08 work yeah is this it SP of the show uh headline I’d rather Focus

1:20:15 exclusively on existing loafing vibing volume 420 number 69 uh we have another

1:20:21 headline will not be checking [ __ ] emails today and godamn I love doing stupid [ __ ]

1:20:29 for zero money F yeah I need to renew my subscription yeah oh that’s right oh and

1:20:35 the barcode there I see is whoever invented money can [ __ ]

1:20:42 off moving on some ecards has a woman being consoled by another woman with her

1:20:47 arms around her knees and it says just wanted to take National punctuation day to say we’re all deeply concerned about

1:20:52 your overuse of exclamation points all right this is these are memes you

1:20:59 can use oh dialing in from Maine uh it says welcome to Maine and we see three people sitting in a trench dug around a

1:21:07 a table with benches and an umbrella and it says outside dining available I’m like three feetus now I don’t know how

1:21:15 they even got in there but you know Screw M uh here we have a warning sign and uh it says please turn off your

1:21:21 Bluetooth speaker Beyond this point no one else wants to listen to Imagine

1:21:26 Dragons word I am uh happy to toss a couple bucks into the collection to get

1:21:33 signs like this around here uh Michael you on board can I get you to read one

1:21:38 of these all right I’ll just do it Michael’s silly voice oh hit me no I’m

1:21:46 ready Hopkins friend of the show Stephen Hopkins says is there a doctor on the plane me yes but I’m not that kind of

1:21:53 flight attendant Pilots are debating the merits of terminologies of the Dark Ages versus late Antiquity versus the Early Middle

1:22:00 Ages me okay I’m there I’m

1:22:07 there well done well done perfect read here we have a four panel starring Sigman Freud he says a Freudian slip is

1:22:15 when you say one thing but mean your mother I mean [Music]

1:22:21 another where’s the LI staring in the fourth page panel here uh this is Captain how to ruin Halloween and it’s

1:22:28 new Dole mini salad fun-sized I will punch a grandma in the

1:22:34 face she puts that in my bucket I can hear him going fud fud right into the bucket too be really great oh no bro

1:22:43 no uh Fred of the show Quantum I guess you would pronounce it at q&m says

1:22:49 heartwarming this 2-year-old’s family couldn’t afford his $220,000 Electric

1:22:54 wheelchair and their insurance didn’t cover it so a high school robotics team burned down the Insurance’s

1:23:01 headquarters hell yeah it’s just heartwarming and I always like to do that of the future yeah this

1:23:09 is a fun post from Ross Nicholas uh uh yeah it’s a it’s a a

1:23:16 picture of Suburbia uh I believe Diane said this reminds her of the opening of

1:23:21 weeds where they were talking about all the little houses made of tacky and uh

1:23:27 and uh it is captioned from Ross Nicholas that’s it I’m architecture shaming normal mlan County Illinois and

1:23:36 it’s been posted by that’s it I’m architecture shaming normal mlan County

1:23:41 Illinois as posted by that’s it I’m architecture shaming normal mlan County

1:23:48 Illinois FR of the show uh Cari commented normal mlan County

1:24:00 Illinois yeah that’s a real place for those of you out on the coast yeah I I’ve I’ve done shows there I’ve eaten

1:24:06 there I’ve you know probably taken a dump there uh hey if you’re ever like low on content you don’t have a lot of

1:24:12 Engagement post a map that’s what I say post a map every time you post a map things get crazy this is uh something I

1:24:20 put in my album called visualizing politics it’s a map of hypothetical 48 US States centered around the 48 largest

1:24:26 urban areas such that every point in the state is closer to its Urban core than to any other this is called a voronoi

1:24:35 partition and uh I see there uh brain you would live in San Francisco uh I

1:24:41 believe yeah clearly uh not Sac not Sacramento or San Jose uh and then uh

1:24:49 clearly uh uh South Canada is Minneapolis up there we would either

1:24:54 live in Chicago Indianapolis or St Louis here because I can’t tell it looks like

1:25:00 it it looks like champagne in St Louis and arbana belongs to Indianapolis I don’t know it doesn’t make any sense uh

1:25:06 but anyway I thought it was really funny and honestly if you really ever want to get engagement this will spike it up and then I went to go get a cal Zone and it

1:25:13 wasn’t ready yet so I stepped into the bar next door and the bar manager runs out and it’s my buddy Ben and he goes I

1:25:19 was just telling the kids about your post that you did and he added up the Electoral colle College votes red versus

1:25:26 blue just to see what would happen in the hypothetical election in this madeup

1:25:32 country oh my I know and it was like dude I’m cracking up I’m standing there

1:25:38 in a campus bar surrounded by probably underage 20 year olds and my buddy Ben going was adding it up and explaining

1:25:45 Electoral College you have interesting friends I I

1:25:52 I is because of weird interactions like this that I started this show uh this one has a picture of the UPS man and it

1:25:58 says as a kid did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away before they could answer well guess what UPS is

1:26:06 hiring yeah dingdong ditch who knew it was a job

1:26:12 application and finally wrapping up the uh ultimate porn round uh we have this beautiful sticker uh of a box of

1:26:19 chocolates with a red bow on it and it is labeled the police are like a box of chocol

1:26:25 they’ll kill your dog no

1:26:31 no leaving only my post with the

1:26:37 most handed it back to quiet Michael to wrap this puppy

1:26:43 up or all right here I go now I’m here with my post with the most this week

1:26:51 [Music] you guys still hear me yeah we’re

1:26:58 good this week my post with the most comes from the CH uh can you guys see this no no it has

1:27:07 to happen once per show or it’s not a real show so

1:27:15 close I don’t know let me figure out my computer BR go you go and then I’ll go after you there we

1:27:20 go all right I post with the most it comes from a

1:27:28 ogore i and it says uh it has a picture of hor

1:27:33 Whitaker his open eyes labeled sativa his closed eyes labeled

1:27:40 Inda we didn’t know this was a two panel and on the second panel we have St B crazy eyes for

1:27:50 Mr Deeds it labeled hybrid with his eyes going opposite direction all

1:27:56 this yes I connect with this [ __ ] Bush’s my

1:28:01 man’s got it all right let’s see if Michael’s

1:28:07 ready not I muted him he’s busy get to his can send it to TI all right going to

1:28:14 Titi I’m open I’m open uh my my round three this week

1:28:19 comes to us from show Dwayne gear and it’s got a picture of thing from The

1:28:26 Adams Family pointing says little known fact before he was an actor he was a

1:28:32 hand model oh stage stage hand he was a stage hand

1:28:38 Ah that’s funny that’s sorry there’s something blocking the bottom so I had

1:28:43 to guess all right that’s that’s my post the most uh go ahead whoever’s next I think Michael’s up you ready to

1:28:51 roll Let’s Dance all right this time can you see my meme yes oh my God all right

1:28:57 this we it’s coming from the Chive there’s a woman who is standing at the top of a

1:29:03 halfpipe she has pulled her skirt up over her waist completely burying her be

1:29:09 ass and she’s holding onto the rail and there is a skateboarder

1:29:15 who has come up the halfpipe and then is doing like a tail

1:29:20 slide on her ass she labeled someone showing obvious

1:29:26 signs they are into me he’s labeled me missing the signs and telling them cool

1:29:31 facts about frog I feel oh I feel that and that’s it for my

1:29:37 post with the most kicking it over to seore oh my God that is clearly totally

1:29:42 yes absolutely uh wow awesome uh my final one is a picture of a Tesla and an ice

1:29:49 cream cone that is half hitten eaten and it says to the owner of the black Tesla who parked behind the Orum theater on

1:29:55 Seymour Street tonight in Vancouver who told me to go [ __ ] myself after I told him they’d likely get a parking ticket

1:30:00 because tour Vehicles were going to park there who seemed to presume I was just some nosy civilian rather than the guy running the concert tonight here’s a

1:30:07 photo of the tow truck I called for your car and a photo of me eating an ice cream cone while I watched it being

1:30:12 towed I don’t think I don’t think I ever had an ice cream cone that tasted so

1:30:18 sweet and refreshing

1:30:24 oh you love to see it douchebag come upet ladies and gentlemen I believe that wraps up a constitutionally whole uh

1:30:31 episode of Facebook for the blind for October 3rd 2024 we love

1:30:37 you love you George yeah thanks for listening to an episode of Facebook for the blind follow us on

1:30:44 Facebook Twitter and Instagram [Laughter]

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